A couple weeks ago on my Instagram, I talked about why I read the Bible. It all comes down to love. My love for God grows daily as I enter the word and converse with Him throughout the day. It’s a constant relationship and my love for God 5 years ago isn’t the same love as my love for God now.
Last night, I was speaking with my friend Jamie about the goodness of God as we were each reflecting on our pasts and how God had shown us grace and mercy, which led us to have a better understanding of the love that He has for us. While we were speaking of love, I expressed that I do hope to be married one day. However, with my past, I started to become concerned that a person would not “love” me given the things from my past. I know that God loves me, but could a person “love” me? I expressed this to Jamie and she said, “Well, Vanessa we need to take a step back and define what love is. Remember, love holds no record of wrongs. A man will have to see you as God sees you not as man sees you.” This revelation hit me so hard. Of course, we talk about these things all the time, but sometimes we forget how practical the advice is.
Jamie was referring to 1 Corinthians 13 and 1 Samuel 16:7. 1 Corinthians defines love so perfectly for us. The book of 1 Corinthians was written by Paul (around AD 54-55) to the Christians living in Corinth in Greece. It was a time when the church there was still new, but also forgetting the basic principles of the faith. Paul wrote this letter to them and is now a great book for practical, straightforward advice. See 1 Corinthians chapter 13 below.
13 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Corinthians+13&version=NIV
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
There, we notice that the qualities of love are patience, kindness, protection, trust, hope, slowness to anger, honor and rejoicing in truth. Love is not envious, not self-seeking, nor does it keep records of wrongdoing, or delight in evil. God is the definition of love, and He’s revealed each of these qualities to me. He does not keep my deserving record of wrong and use it against me. Love is purely a gift that cannot be earned by my works.
The other verse that Jamie is referring to when she said “A man will have to see you as God sees you not as man sees you.” is 1 Samuel 16:7.
7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+samuel+16&version=NIV
In this passage, Samuel was a prophet who was about to anoint the future King of Israel. The Lord told him to travel to Bethlehem to the household of Jesse. Jesse had many sons and the future king of Israel was to be one of them. Samuel saw Eliab, who was the eldest son of Jesse, who was good looking and tall and automatically thought that Eliab would be “fit” to be king. Samuel was fixated on the appearance of the sons of Jesse but God was fixated on the heart. God said to Samuel that He had rejected Eliab and all of the other sons of Jesse as the future king of Israel. Instead, God had told Samuel to anoint David, the youngest son of Jesse.
After defining love, and seeing how God loves me, it made me ponder, “Am I loving people the way God tells me to love people? I can say that I want someone to see me through God’s eyes, but am I seeing people through the eyes of Christ?” The most important rules of Christianity are to “Love God and Love People” (Matthew 22:37-40). If we are all honest with ourselves, how many times have we gotten angry with people when things did not go as we planned? Or held grudges for something someone has done, and used that as a basis for whether or not we “loved” them that day? How many times have we approved someone into our circle because they met “our criteria” of being attractive enough or cool enough to associate with us? Why do we put people who are famous on pedestals? Or feel like we can only relate to someone who has the same color of skin as us? Why do we accept those who have money and cast out those who don’t? Why do married people disassociate with their single friends? Why are we quick to judge another person’s lifestyle, when we too have our own issues to worry about (Matthew 7:3-5)? Why does one group or person think that they are more superior to everyone else? How many times have we only shown kindness when we knew we could get something in return? Why do we resent someone who turned their life around and gave it to Christ? The list of problems in the world goes on and on and we all know it’s due to a lack of love. But how do we love with a Christ-like love amidst those circumstances?
If we are to see people the way God sees us, and love with a Christ-like love, we need to change our perspective. Changing our perspective starts by placing ourselves in God’s “shoes.” We do this by engulfing ourselves in the word of God so that He can reveal His personality, His grace, His mercy and ultimately His vision. As I am reading the word, I like to write things down that stand out to me. If I am confused about something, I ask God to reveal what He is trying to say in a passage to spark our conversation. Our thoughts are the gateways to our actions, so if we are learning to love others, we must monitor our thoughts. This is much easier said than done and takes practice, as our minds naturally tend to gravitate toward negative thinking. Ask God, to make you aware of your thoughts and then command your thoughts. There have been many times when I have been walking down the street and a negative thought will come to mind. I’ve trained my thinking to notice the thought and say, “Oh no, Vanessa, your mind is NOT going there. NOT TODAY! God, take that thought, throw it away. Fill my mind with things of you.” See the scriptures below about altering your thinking process.
“8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.” Philippians 4:8-9
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Philippians+4&version=NIV
“5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+Corinthians+10&version=NIV
When we give up control of our thoughts, and hand them to Christ, they become obedient to God. God, who is love, will only make thoughts of love obey. Those thoughts of love, will lead to loving actions. We have to keep practicing to build up our brain “thought muscle memory” (I totally made that up, but you get the point.) Then, when we are in a less than ideal situation, and although our original instinct would be to have an initial thought of anger, it actually becomes and initial thought of peace (or happiness or something of love). This allows us to assess how to bring peace to the situation.
Aren’t you so thankful that God doesn’t choose us based on the same criteria that people do. Can I get an AMEN?! I definitely would not belong in that sort of “Kingdom.” It is amazing that the God of this universe chooses to love us! I know I am not perfect, I know my friends are not perfect, and I know people in the world are not perfect. But, I do know that we can all be better at extending grace as God has given us grace. We can all forgive, as God forgave us. We can be merciful to one another as Christ was merciful to us. We can all learn how to love people the way Christ loved us, and see people through the lens of Christ. If we do that, I have no doubt, that our world will change as people begin to learn about love for themselves.
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