Have you ever been on a date with someone where it was just….awkward? Or where you meet up with an acquaintance and the energy was just, well … dull? Lucky for you if you have never experienced a dull moment! Unfortunately, for some of us, that is what our relationship with God is like. Sad, dull, and boring.
This begs the question, why? Why would a Christian even be a Christian if what they believed was based on their faith within their relationship with Christ, and that relationship with Christ was mundane? My friend and I were sitting in her apartment in upper Manhattan pondering this exact question. If we claim to have a relationship with the GOD OF THE UNIVERSE (for goodness sake), how on earth could our relationship with Christ be so dull? Why is it that Christians act like being a Christian is the bane of their existence? As though, Christianity is another tedious chore added to our never ending to-do lists?
I have a few speculations as to why. The first being, we don’t really understand who God is. God created the universe! The stars, the sky, the earth the plants. He created you, me, our organs, our personalities, our emotions, and our feelings. He gave us gifts, talents, the privilege to live, and other people to do life with. He is a creator, lover, healer, provider, . He is compassionate, patient, kind, gracious, He is our rock, our refuge and our strength. He’s omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient. The list of attributes goes on and on. God is love.
“7 The Lord did not set his affection on you and choose you because you were more numerous than other peoples, for you were the fewest of all peoples. 8 But it was because the Lord loved you and kept the oath he swore to your ancestors that he brought you out with a mighty hand and redeemed you from the land of slavery, from the power of Pharaoh king of Egypt. 9 Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments.”
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Deuteronomy+7&version=NIV
The second is, we say we want to know Jesus, but we don’t want to put in the work. I don’t care if you are single, married, dating, have friends, have parents, have family, have coworkers, or even know a person. In any relationship, if you want to keep it, you have to put in the work. That means you need to spend time with that person and constantly communicate with them. If you are married, and you communicate with your spouse once a month, you will never deepen or strengthen that relationship. If we claim to want friends but never reach out to people to spend time with them, well I am sorry I am not sorry, but you will be friendless. The same thing goes for Christ. How can you expect a relationship with Christ, if you are not putting in the work it takes to build a relationship? A new couple doesn’t need to be reminded to spend time with each other. They want to spend time with each other. God is so gracious that He even gave us REMINDERS that if we seek Him, we will find Him. (Deuteronomy 4:29, Matthew 7:7, Jeremiah 29:13, Proverbs 8:17, Luke 11:9)
We chase after humans with our whole heart, why don’t we try chasing after God with our whole heart? He promises that we will find Him if we do!
13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.[b] I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Jeremiah+29&version=NIV
My third speculation is that you’re putting on a front. You ever see those Christians who judge every other person in the world because they think they’re perfect? They pray as though they’re “perfect.” They never do anything “wrong” because they think they’re “perfect.” Don’t be like them. (And if you don’t know those people, it is probably you.) NEWS FLASH! None of us are perfect. But why do we pretend to be perfect or like we have it all together when we are talking to God? If our identity is in Christ, and Christ made us fearfully and wonderfully, with our own personalities and traits, why do we suppress who we are when we communicate with him?
I had a pastor back in Denver who literally prayed to God like he was talking to a friend. He’d pray something like “God, you know what? We just want to tell you we are a group of people who really love you and admire you! You’re the coolest God, that you would want to spend time with us, and that you would even die for us when we did you so wrong! So wrong! You really could be anywhere else, but you chose to be with us today. Thank you!” Sometimes, he’s pray something as simple as, “God, we love you. Amen!” That was it! It was so refreshing! When I asked him why he prayed like that, he said, “why would I pretend to be someone else in front of God? He already knows me.” I thought, “Wow! That is so true!” I mean you would never go up to your friend and say “thou thee gracious friend of mine come with thee into thy presence while we drink from the cup of life that is coffee,” to ask them for coffee. Like what? Your friends would literally think you were on something? So why do we feel the need to speak to God like that and put on a false front. I would never walk up to my dad and say “my dear father, who art in your master suite in our abode that you provided for us, please taketh thou cup that I hold before my liege, and drink the tea within the chalice,” as I gave him tea to drink. UM no, I’d say “Dad! Here is your tea!” So why on earth would I speak to God, supposedly my best friend like that?
You may be thinking that you have to “act” a certain way out of respect for God. I totally understand. We also must remember that we are not bound to Old Testament living due to the fact that Jesus became the ultimate sacrifice, tearing the veil so that we can have instant communication with God! (AMEN FOR JESUS!). This means that you can still have respect for someone while being yourself. I still have much respect for my parents, teachers, pastors, and friends yet I can still be who I am. Just as there is a time for everything, there are times when you are more “chill” with God, and times when you are more serious.
The beautiful thing about God is that He made you. Since he made you, he knows your personality and delights in that! That means when we are talking with God, we can come before Him with our true selves. PTL! Which means that when we communicate or pray with Him we do not need to put on a facade. It also means that we don’t have to have a specific time to speak with Him. Speaking to God is an all day, erreday thing! I love to talk to God throughout the day. If you are not used to this, give it a try. Below, I’ve given examples of how I talk to God throughout the day.
6:30 am “What’s up God? Good morning! I am looking forward to this day! God, I seriously love that you have the sun hit just right!”
6:30 am – 7:30/45 Quiet time with God reading the word ( I
8:15 am “God, thank you! Your word was so good! I didn’t get XYZ part of what I read, but please reveal that to me some time.”
9:40 am “God I am so late, I know, I am working on ittttt.”
10:00 am “This is not the circumstance I want to be in right now, but God you have me here in this position for a reason. Help me to know that.”
12:00 pm “MMMM Jesus what kind of food do you want today? Also, God, how does the moon work? “
3:00 pm “God, you know I don’t like this person, please help me to see them through your eyes and have grace for them even though I really do not want to. Holy Spirit, please be with me. You know I cannot have this conversation in peace without you.”
4:15 pm “Jesus, I am sorry. I did not handle that the way I wanted to. My bad. Please forgive me.”
5:45 pm “God, you are SOOOOO CREATIVE, look at that SUNSET!”
You get the point. See, talking with God, doesn’t always need to be a formal thing and it’s not always asking Him for things. It is a mixture of dialogue throughout the day! We can still give God respect but also speak to Him with our personality.
“Prayer
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew+6&version=NIV
5 “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. 7 And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.
9 “This, then, is how you should pray:
“‘Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
10 your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
11 Give us today our daily bread.
12 And forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
13 And lead us not into temptation,[a]
but deliver us from the evil one.[b]’
14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
My last speculation is that you’re not vulnerable with Him. The enemy loves to make us think that vulnerability is a sign of weakness when it is actually a key to freedom. When we open up about our broken-ness to God and speak to him with honest, earnest prayers, He sees our hearts and it helps us see why we need Him. There have been times when I was angry about something, that I was angry when I started praying to God. He is so good that I was able to rest in Him. I’ve told God many times that I did not understand what on earth His plan was for me and that I was frustrated. There were times when I was so in awe with God that all I did was compliment Him. There have been other times when I was so overcome with His love that I did not need to say a word. He knew my heart. He knows your heart. So you might as well come to Him as yourself in prayer.
28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew+11%3A28&version=NIV
Now that we understand who God is, that we can communicate with Him as ourselves, and know that we need to put in the work to get to know Him, how do we do this on a practical level? We already know that we seek God by reading the Bible and praying to Him. Let’s take it a step further. Remember those personality traits and gifts He’s given you? Yes, those gifts are also tools that you can use to enhance your relationship with God! For example, recently I’ve found that I enjoy writing. I love that the Holy Spirit flows through me when I write about Him. As I write, God reminds me of scripture that can be used as I write. This is one way I spend time with God.
I have a friend who enjoys cooking. She finds herself in the kitchen listening to worship music and singing to God while making an incredible meal. That is her favorite way to spend time with the Lord.
My sister Crystal is a remarkable host. She loves gathering people together at her home which serves as a welcoming space for those who may not feel like they have a home. Crystal has an eye and aptitude for decor and has transformed her home into an oasis that resembles the comfort and safe haven that the Lord provides. When people enter her home, they can sense it is a Holy Spirit led home. This is one of many ways Crystal grows her relationship with the Lord and helps others come closer to God.
I believe nature is God’s tangible souvenir for us, as it is a constant reminder of His creativity and majestic wonder. My sister Evlyn loves to go off the grid and disappear into the wilderness for days marveling at all of God’s creation. It is a humbling reminder that though we are small we are cared for.
There are people who have a way with words and rhythm who can express an emotion that others don’t quite know how to articulate. My friend Kallie is a singer and songwriter and God has given her the gift of studying scripture to create beautiful songs that depict God’s love for us.
As you can see, there are plenty of ways you can grow and strengthen your relationship with God! What are some of the gifts God has given you? Have allowed God to show you how to use those gifts as a tool for reinforcing your relationship with Him? We are Christians, which means we have the incredible opportunity to have a relationship with the God most high! Let’s make the most of it!
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